My Niece, Sami Mae

My sister and her husband had ample time to chat this week while they were hanging out in the delivery room for TWO WHOLE DAYS. It seems that my bro-in-law has not seen much in the way of Bonnie's childhood pictures - I imagine this was on purpose - and was asking her what she looked like, in order to get a better idea of what to expect in little Samantha Mae. Well I guess there's not much point in being self-conscious, once you've had your legs spread out wide for everyone to see for a few hours. So Bonnie told her husband Joshua that when she was a little girl, she looked kind of like a troll.

Well I was only four when Bonnie was born, so I can't picture her very well as an infant, but I certainly saw quite a bit of her as a young girl. She was not the most attractive child in the family, but that may have had something to do with the way she cut her bangs down to fuzz every time she started to look normal. In her most awkward stages, she looked rather like a pixie on weight watchers, an evil cabbage patch kid with freckles, the sister that the seven dwarves shoved in the closet, a chubby Punky Brewster with a really bad haircut maybe, but not a troll. Perhaps a hobbit? Jeez, I don't even know what a female hobbit is supposed to look like. I can't believe that in four books about hobbits, Tolkien did not bother to describe the fairer sex of this noble race.

Well eventually they got down to business and pushed this baby out, and since there are some minor similarities I thought I'd use the trolls pictured above to describe my new neice.

1. Sami is MUCH, MUCH cuter than those trolls. I know what you're thinking, those trolls are pretty cute, how can that be possible? It just IS.
2. Sami's legs are much longer than those pictured above. Obviously. But also proportionally. In fact, not that I've seen many, but Sami has the longest, leanest legs I have ever seen on an infant. Her body reminded me of the house-elves in Harry Potter books. Don't worry, Bonnie. I believe these house elves are not permitted to use magic. Also, they will work for you like slaves (and are quite happy to do so) and remain devoted to you as long as you live. Whether you like it or not.
3. She had a hat on, but so far as I could tell, her hair was very dark (NOT white!), a great deal thinner, and also finer. It was not at all frizzy like those trolls, and did not seem to have nearly as much volume.
4. Her nose is a bit smaller; It's the really cute button-type. Her cheeks are fat and happy, just like the trolls, but she doesn't have any of those weird pronounced wrinkles, which gives her face a much softer look.
5. I would estimate her ears at about one tenth of the size (proportionally, of course) of those on the trolls. I'm not sure how much a newborn can hear, but I'm guessing it's not at the level of transmissions from outer space, which would be the only reason I can think of to have ears that enormous.
6. She appeared to be wearing deep pink eyeshadow. Glamour girl! I'm sure Bonnie would not approve of makeup at such a young age... I wonder how she did it. Anyway, it looked HOT. Nice job, Sami.
7. I don't think she has a tail. Maybe I ought to have checked?

I'm sure you all are wondering why I don't just post a picture so you can judge for yourself? Well I'm afraid I don't have the right to tell you that. Also, I'm not permitted to have an opinion on the matter, much less express it. I'm probably not even allowed to tell you what I'm not allowed to do, so at the rate I'm going I should be ex-communicated from my entire family by say Thursday. I wonder what person entirely unrelated to me will be chosen to inform me, and what rude and impersonal method they will choose to employ? Ah, Life... so full of surprises.

Bubble Doodles

Last week I published a logo on Reb Sox which people seem to have enjoyed. I started doing these at the cottage. In order to focus on the games I was listening to on the radio, I found it helpful to keep my eyes and hands busy. These things take a lot of time, and I don't imagine I'll be getting many more done soon, but I thought I'd put up the ones I have.

This was the first that I did, and it's about the human brain:


A bubble-doodle take on pointalism:

Dodging shit-drops

My parents are getting a divorce. My feelings on this may surprise you; I'm not all that broken up about it. I'm hopeful that they will both be happier for it. You see, they want completely different things. My mom doesn't like to do the things my dad likes to do. And my dad doesn't like to do the things my mom likes to do. And as a result, they don't seem to like each other very much either. They don't fight, as far as I've seen... they're more the passive-aggressive types. Guess that's where I get it.

The real bummer is I'm going to have to move "as soon as possible." Serves me right, I suppose, for living rent-free with my folks for the past couple of years. I was hoping to take some night classes this fall, but I guess that's not going to happen. Not only will I not have the funds, but I also won't be able to stay in a consistant place. In other words, I won't be getting an apartment... at least anytime soon. Because you see, I HATE Connecticut, and the only reason I live here at all is um, the superb deal I've been getting. Fairfield County is just not me. For many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that the people here are egotistical snobs with more money than they know what to do with, and a freakish unwillingness to part with it if they can see you are actually working for it. In other words, if you are sitting in an office, filing your nails and surfing the web, go ahead and bill out thousands of dollars for five minutes of work... But, if you are actually getting your hands dirty and breaking out a sweat, they will bitch and complain, treat you like trash, and try to jew every last cent off the bill that they can. But I digress...

Anyway, I have work I need to do around here, and I also have a little to do in NH and can easily round up more. I am hesitant to actually MOVE, as it's likely I'll have to do so again in less than a year, making a lease seem rather imprudent. I could become the traveling faux girl for awhile... but there are a few things that would make this difficult - my computer, which is digracefully large and inconveniently made for an actual desk, and my two cats, oh and yeah I really like having a home. The thought of having my stuff scattered, boxed up and inaccessible makes me want to cry. So I've got some things to figure out.

3 Every Day Essentials

1.) My Red Hair Clip.
purchased 10/30/04, downtown Boston, after the parade. I thought $30 might be too much to pay for a hair clip. I have worn it every day since. $30 well spent.

2.) Cell Phone
truly, it's pathetic, but I can't believe we all used to live without them.

3.) High-Speed Internet
I'm addicted. Is there rehab for that? Internet Addict Anonymous?

3 things that scare me

yeah, I know. I wasn't sure if I would ever type these out, either... but I've been prodded by Barb, so here you are:

1. Raccoons. Ever look them in the eyes? They seem very intelligent, and it's freaky.

2. Roller Coasters. They seem like fun, in concept, but I can't seem to convince myself of that while I'm riding or even considering riding in one.

3. Riding in the front passenger's seat with almost anyone. I'm so used to driving myself, alone, that it scares me a bit just to watch it and not be in control, but mostly I get terrified when the driver's style is very different from mine.