Friday, May 13, 2005


Scratchy throat; that might go away...

Then, maybe the next day, you start to feel the stream trickle down your throat from your head. That's when you know it's really happening: cancel your plans; you're SICK.

Shivering from cold, you bundle up... Yet you start to sweat, and the very layers you are depending on for warmth are now making you colder.

Your head feels attached to an invisible vise, slowly tightening around your skull. As the pressure builds up, your head starts to feel, um, somewhat larger. You tell people that you are sick, and they act surprised. You wonder: How can they not see that? You feel so different... Surely you must look different.

You go to the bathroom to blow your nose, and catch yourself in the mirror. Are you ever surprised by what you see?

I don't know why, but I always expect my head to appear larger or something. My reflection seems so incongruously normal. Ok, so my nose is a little red from just blowing it, but otherwise who could tell? People who know me well can hear it in my voice... If they're listening.

It kind of makes me wonder if people think I'm lying. But mostly I worry about the lies that my body is telling me, like my head has swollen up to the size of a watermelon. Or that the room I'm in is about forty degrees Fahrenheit, and the down comforter I have wrapped myself in actually has no warming qualities at all. And since the synapses of my brain seem to be greatly hampered by the pressure of my skull clamping down on it, I really don't have the power to worry too much about what other people are thinking anyway.


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